Lament

Watch this lesson on YouTube, or listen to it here.

Access the slide deck here. 

1)     What is lament?

A)   A passionate expression of grief or sorrow.

B)    A prayer of complaint that carries a paradoxical tension: it is an expression of deep suffering or confusion directed toward a God who is believed to be both powerful and good.

C)    Wrestling with God.

2)     Examples of lament

A)   Job

1)     3:3-4 – Cursing his birth.

2)     God is against me.

(a)   6:4

(b)   19:11

3)     7:7 – Life is fragile.

4)     19:13-14 – Family problems.

B)    At least 1/3 of the Psalms are laments. Probably more like 44% depending upon how you count. It’s the biggest category of Psalms.

1)     Ps. 13 – This psalm outlines the 4 main parts of lament well. This is a good place to learn HOW to lament, or at least a pattern to follow.

(a)   vv. 1-2 – Complaint

(b)   vv. 3-4 – Request

(c)   v. 5 – Trust

(d)   v. 6 – Praise

2)     Ps. 22

3)     Ps. 44

(a)   vv. 1-8 – What God has done in the past.

(b)   vv. 9ff. – “But you have rejected us and disgraced us…”

4)     Ps. 69

5)     Ps. 77

6)     Ps. 88 – This is the darkest and most hopeless lament.

(a)   “There is no understanding. There is no answer. There is no happy ending. Just a man who refuses to give up on God and a God who is willing to constantly hear his plea.”[1]

7)     Ps. 137

C)    Ecc. 4:2-3

D)   Lamentations

1)     After Jerusalem’s destruction. Middle section anchors itself in God’s character.

2)     Lam. 2:1-5

E)    Habakkuk

1)     Hab. 1:2-3

2)     Hab. 1:13

F)    Jesus lamenting

1)     Mk. 8:12

2) Mk. 14:33-34 / Lk. 22:40 – He felt “greatly distressed and troubled” (stress / anxiety) / “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death.”

3)     Matt. 23:37-39 / Lk. 13:34 – Jerusalem, Jerusalem!

4)     Matt. 26:37-38 – Gethsemane

G)   Rom. 8:20-23

H)   Rev. 6:9-11

3)     What are some hesitations and alternatives to lamentation and their answers?

Disclaimer: Everybody is different, and there is no such thing as one right reaction to suffering.

A)   I don’t feel good about blaming God for things.

1)     BUT – When I cry out like Job did, I’m acknowledging that God is all-powerful and in control of all things, which requires faith.

B)    Most of the time when I suffer, I am (at least inwardly) aware that it’s my own fault. I don’t feel great about crying out to God about suffering that I brought on myself.

1)     e.g. Ps. 32:3-4. David brought his suffering upon himself with his sin with, and after, Bathsheba.

C)    I don’t feel good about complaining.

1)     “Lament can be characterized as irritating complaint, or worse, adolescent whining: moaning about hardships in life instead of facing them head-on, bravely. Lament can be considered speech for the weak when one should put on a brave face during trouble. After all, suffering and trial produce something in the life of the believer: patience, perseverance, and other good traits. For this reason, one should not whine about suffering but rather embrace it as a good gift from God! In this way, Christians construe all suffering as ‘soul-building.’ No time to whine … God is doing something in the church!”[2]

D)   I just need to have more faith.

1)     “It may seem to some that lament indicates a lack of faith. After all, how could anyone dare speak to God in such a way! …Far from this approach, lament is instead evidence of faith. This is because lament is founded upon at least three basic assumptions: there is a God; He cares for His people and hears them; He can and will act on their behalf.”[3]

2)     “Lament expresses rage, anger, hurt, and disappointment about situations and about God, but it does so within a context that is bounded by trust and a hope that, despite the apparent lack of any evidence, God is active in the world.”[4] 

3)     Third, we learn that it is perhaps when we are still in unrelenting darkness that we have the greatest opportunity to defeat the forces of evil. In the darkness we have a choice that is not really there in better times. We can choose to serve God just because he is God. In the darkest moments we feel we are getting absolutely nothing out of God or out of our relationship to him. But what if then—when it does not seem to be paying or benefiting you at all—you continue to obey, pray to, and seek God, as well as continue to do your duties of love to others? If we do that—we are finally learning to love God for himself, and not for his benefits.”[5]

E)    Silent waiting

1)     Ps. 62:1 – “For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation.”

2)     BUT

(a)   This is basically giving God the silent treatment.

(i)    How do you feel when your spouse or your kids do this? They are suffering, so they’re just going to go inward and not talk about anything and wait for it all to pass.

(b)   The opposite of silent waiting is openness.

(c)   Openness is like a pressure release valve

(i)    Disclaimer: Thaxter Dickey in Marriage and Family: Good communication means also knowing what not to say.

(ii)  “Grief and sorrow in the face of tragedy are very human emotions. Unless they are admitted and expressed, they will remain inside us and destroy us. Healing can’t come if we deny what we are feeling and act as though it is good that evil has occurred. Those negative feelings must be admitted, expressed and dealt with, not hidden so that the sufferer acts as though everything is all right. We can’t help the afflicted if we expect them to deny their humanness.[6]

F)    Dry-eyed stoicism (i.e. Toughing it out)

1)     “There is no attempt in Scripture to whitewash the anguish of God’s people when they undergo suffering. They argue with God, they complain to God, they weep before God. Theirs is not a faith that leads to dry-eyed stoicism, but a faith so robust it wrestles with God.”[7]

2)     BUT – Intimacy is better than being emotionally numb.

G)   Toxic positivity. Pretending there is not a problem.

1)     BUT – Honesty is better than fake.

H)   Cynicism and despair (hopelessness).

1)     Job 2:9-10 – Job’s wife

2)     Examples of the Exodus generation. Their crying out was not lament, but hopeless grumbling.

(a)   Ex. 17:3

3)     BUT – There is hope in God even while suffering.

I)      I’m not looking for a get-fixed-quick scheme.

1)     We don’t say a prayer and “give it to God” and then the problem is fixed and solved.

2)     e.g.

(a)   Marital unfaithfulness

(b)   Losing a child or spouse

(c)   Genuine church hurt

J)      Careful not to slip into blasphemy.

1)     “Biblical lament is not characterized by accusations hurled heavenward, and lament can turn into those things it should not be: mere complain, bitterness, rage, and ultimately blasphemy.”[8]

2)     Maybe I can add more of the Exodus generation here (listed above).

3)     Lk. 23:39 – The unrepentant thief on the cross

4)     Rev. 16:9

K)   Be mindful of your audience.

1)     Ps. 73:15

[1] Nathan Ward, When God Doesn’t Seem Good.

[2] Thomas, Habakkuk, 84, Quoted in Ward, When God Doesn’t Seem Good.

[3] Nathan Ward, When God Doesn’t Seem Good.

[4] Swinton, Raging with Compassion, 111. Quoted in Ward, When God Doesn’t Seem Good.

[5] Keller, Walking with God.

[6] John Feinberg, The Many Faces of Evil.

[7] Carson, How Long, O Lord.

[8] Ward, When God Doesn’t Seem Good.