1:2-4: 5 Things Wives Can Do To Improve Your Marriage Today

Introduction

· WE ARE SUPPOSED TO LEARN SOMETHING. The point of God giving us the Bible is not so we can read it and move on with our lives.

· This class is primarily directed at wives. If you will try to do even one of these things better, I can all but promise you that you will improve your marriage.

1) v. 2a: “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!”

A) DISCUSS: What do you see here?

1) KEY: She desires him.

B) This is 3rd person (him/his). She is not talking to him, but thinking about him, and desiring him.

1) Song: I want you to want me. Men want to be desired.

C) Kisses on the cheek or hand in ancient and other cultures are not unusual. Kisses on the mouth are romantic.

2) v. 2b: “For your loves are better than wine…”

A) “love” (Heb. pl: “your loves are”)

1) NET Notes: the plural form דּוֹדִים (dodim, “loves”) is used in the Song to refer to multiple expressions of love or multiple acts of lovemaking (e.g., 1:4; 4:10; 5:1; 7:13 [ET 12]).

2) DBL

(a) 1. lover, i.e., one who is beloved and a romantic kindred spirit, which may have sexual relations

(b) 2. love, i.e., the state or condition of romantic affection, which can include sexual relations

B) “wine”

1) This is poetry and we are looking for the metaphor: Wine symbolizes sensory pleasure, celebration, and intoxication.

2) cf. Prov. 5:18-20

3) There are several references to wine in the Song of Songs (1:4; 2:4; 4:10; 5:1; 7:9; 8:2)

4) NET Notes: The ancient Egyptian love poems use the imagery of wine and intoxication to describe the overwhelming effects of sexual love. For example, an ancient Egyptian love song reads: “I embrace her and her arms open wide; I am like a man in Punt, like someone overwhelmed with drugs. I kiss her and her lips open; and I am drunk without beer” (ANET 467–469).

C) KEY: There are many ways to describe this feeling:

1) She is intoxicated by him

2) He sweeps her off her feet

3) She’s walking on air

4) She’s spellbound by him

5) She’s captivated by him

6) She’s head over heels for him

7) She was enamored with him

8) She has lost herself in him

3) v. 3: “Your anointing oils are fragrant; your name is oil poured out; therefore virgins love you.”

A) DISCUSS: Describe the fragrance imagery.

1) Imagine opening a bottle of perfume and the smell travels and fills the whole room.

B) She says that his “name” is like the smell.

1) DISCUSS: What is a man’s “name”?

2) His character, integrity, and reputation.

C) DISCUSS: So what is she saying about him here?

1) Just as an open bottle of perfume fills an entire room with a pleasant smell, this man’s reputation is spread around and everybody knows it.

D) KEY: She admires him, and she takes pride in a husband respected by others.

1) Harley: “Behind every man should be an admiring wife. Biographies of great men prove it, and lives of all men show it: a man simply thrives on a woman’s admiration. To a great extent men owe gratitude to their wives for this kind of emotional support, for without it, their confidence, the major source of their success, can erode and eventually crumble... A man wants his wife to be president of his fan club, not his worst critic.”

2) What does this look like in your home?

(a) Complement him in front of other people.

(b) Public praise.

(d) Negative: I know a woman who constantly posts on Facebook about her kids. If you didn’t know any better, then you’d never know she even has a husband.

4) v. 4a: “Draw me after you; let us run”

A) DISCUSS: What do you see here?

B) Her man is not an item on her task list that needs to be checked off like everything else. She wants to be with him.

C) And she’s in a hurry (“let us run”).

1) NET/NIV – “let us hurry”

D) KEY: He is her priority.

1) Not an afterthought.

2) He doesn’t get what’s left over from her at the end the day after every other obligation has received her full attention.

5) v. 4b: “The king has brought me into his chambers”

A) O’Donnell: “She calls her lover a ‘king.’ She will describe him as a shepherd in 1:7. He could be a king and a shepherd literally, like King David. But it is more likely that he is a shepherd literally and a ‘king’ metaphorically. “He is her king,” her “triumphant king.” In other words, she reaches for an image to adorn his honor, worth, and greatness in her eyes.”[1]

B) KEY: She respects him.

C) Eph. 5:33: “Let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

6) v. 4b: The Others

A) There is a group of “others” through the Song of Songs. Sometimes they are called “the chorus” or the “the daughters of Jerusalem.” They are outsiders who observe and make comments about the man and woman’s relationship.

B) In this first appearance, they affirm and celebrate what the woman has said in vv. 2-4.

1) “We will exult and rejoice in you”

(a) Exult = NASB95 – “rejoice and be glad” / NKJV – “be glad and rejoice”

(b) DBL – “rejoice, be glad, be joyful, i.e., be in a state of an attitude or feeling of favorable circumstance, note: this joy may be expressed in song, shouts, or even joyous shrieks and calls…”

2) POINT:

(a) They are happy and excited for her.

(b) Everything about this situation is good and right, and should be celebrated.

3) NOTE: If you have feelings for a man and all your friends and the people who love you the most are negative about it, then maybe you should ask why.

C) Titus 2:4: Older women are “to train the young women to love their husbands.” These lessons are a great place to start.

7) Conclusion

A) It’s hard to imagine a man who has a wife like this who is not happy. Men would give up everything they have to have a wife like this.

B) Do you think Solomon would have given up his 700 wives who were nothing more than political alliances and his 300 concubines who he took for his own pleasure for one woman who is actually like this

8) Action items for wives (These are things that we are within your control/power to do)

A) Desire him. Let him know that he is wanted and not just needed.

B) Be intoxicated by him. Show your affection.

C) Admire him. Be his biggest fan.

D) Prioritize him. Make him your top priority instead of giving him what’s left over at the end of the day.

E) Respect him. Make him the king of your heart and home.

F) It’s sometimes helpful to think about how to practically do these things by thinking about their opposites:

1) Be indifferent towards him or reject him outright.

2) Be cold towards him.

3) Criticize him or put him down to others.

4) Neglect him or treat him as an afterthought.

5) Disrespect him.

[1] O’Donnell

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